Damon writes: "I used to drink to get drunk. I didn't pay attention to the process, I simply knew that I liked being drunk and so I drank to be drunk. It took me a long time to realize that being buzzed from alcohol feels better than being drunk. It's a good feeling that I can experience while being comfortable and while still being able to organize my thoughts and communicate them. See, I wasn't paying attention to the process. I said: "Drunk is good, and a few drinks is not drunk." Now, I have a few drinks, feel buzzed and think to myself: "I need to maintain the buzz." So, when a good buzz is going on, I shouldn't be having another drink. I should be having another drink when I can identify that my buzz is fading. By now, you must think that I'm an alcoholic. Well, I am. I accept that and I don't see it changing. Alcohol is too impressive a social lubricant to exclude from my life. But the process of drinking is more important than the end result. Alcohol can be used instead of abused and I can justify liking it so long as I'm not abusing it. It's all about the process. It's all about checking in with myself to see how I feel before I decide that I'm not where I assumed I should be. I drank to get drunk. If I wasn't drunk, I wasn't there yet. It's simpler than that. I like alcohol. I should pay more attention to every single step of the way."
Richard has frustrated many a lady. He's a cosmologist. He lives and breathes cosmology. He doesn't define himself by a relationship and, to be honest, doesn't REALLY need one. It would be nice, but he's got his own life to live and if a relationship pops up, so be it. But he also finds himself uncomfortable around women. He doesn't know it, but that's simply because he's never found the right woman.
He never thought: "If everyone is different and wants different things, then only about 1 out of two-hundred people met and spent time with will perfectly click with my life. I'm not SUPPOSED to get along with everyone, and with something as important as a relationship, beauty should be rare, not common."
Damon writes: "I'm a puzzle piece. I'm part of the bigger picture. There are a maximum of 4 pieces that fit perfectly with me - and that's out of 6.5 Billion, which is the population of Earth. I have to be careful not to try and smash puzzle pieces into me when I simply WANT them to work. I can't be so lonely that I'll grab anything and try to make a picture with it. To get a sense of the bigger picture, I need to be patient and honest and only pursue the natural "clicks". For a clearer, bigger picture, I need to search endlessly and find those that naturally "click" with me. It's about forming the bigger picture, and it's NOT about clicking. I don't want to produce an ugly picture by smashing myself into another piece that doesn't fit. I want myself and someone else to simply fall into place and have life make sense."
This is why Richard is interested in Dalia. She's her own person. She's got her own life and she's pursuing her interests. She's so interested in what she's doing that she's only got room for people who perfectly accomodate. She's on a rocket, firing at top speed down her path. If someone can keep up, cool. If not, she's busy.
Not needing a relationship is why women have tried so hard to be with Richard. He doesn't need it and that's not the focus of his life. So, women try incredibly hard to be with him. To "win" his attention. Richard, a realist, ends up seeing them as desperate and relates his experiences with women to this statement: "Relationships are too much trouble."
Damon writes: "Relationships are an addition to the life you are already living. They are not a brand new life."
Richard and Dalia share a workspace, share an interest in the universe and they share... how would you say it? ... they share..... "Being their own person".
What they like about themselves they like about each other.
C'est L'amour.
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