Damon writes about being socially attacked quite frequently.
He's been accused, so his journal entries state, of being selfish, egotistical and self-centered.
Usually, when people are accused of such things, they get defensive and try to explain themselves out of their social spotlight.
Damon, more often than not, responds to his accusers with: "Yeah. Is that a problem?"
"Yeah, I'm self-centered. It works. But I'm self-centered without being rude and I'm self-centered without it being at the expense of anyone else. I don't step on people's head to be self-centered, I simply am self-centered. And I'm self centered in the best of ways. So, why do you have a problem with that? This is who I am and I've worked to be this person in the best ways possible. Why would you criticize my efforts? You're trying to insult me because I have a flaw, and I've been working to improve that flaw. Your comment does nothing but deter me from being any different. The point here is.... why are you focusing on my bad instead of my good? Why don't you just say: "You are who you are and we don't see eye to eye." Why would you communicate that thought as: "I don't agree with you, you're less of a person than I am?" What does that say about you?"
Damon was, to MOST people, a fucking asshole.
Richard loved him.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Writing Practice 48: Richard and Dalia
Damon writes: "I used to drink to get drunk. I didn't pay attention to the process, I simply knew that I liked being drunk and so I drank to be drunk. It took me a long time to realize that being buzzed from alcohol feels better than being drunk. It's a good feeling that I can experience while being comfortable and while still being able to organize my thoughts and communicate them. See, I wasn't paying attention to the process. I said: "Drunk is good, and a few drinks is not drunk." Now, I have a few drinks, feel buzzed and think to myself: "I need to maintain the buzz." So, when a good buzz is going on, I shouldn't be having another drink. I should be having another drink when I can identify that my buzz is fading. By now, you must think that I'm an alcoholic. Well, I am. I accept that and I don't see it changing. Alcohol is too impressive a social lubricant to exclude from my life. But the process of drinking is more important than the end result. Alcohol can be used instead of abused and I can justify liking it so long as I'm not abusing it. It's all about the process. It's all about checking in with myself to see how I feel before I decide that I'm not where I assumed I should be. I drank to get drunk. If I wasn't drunk, I wasn't there yet. It's simpler than that. I like alcohol. I should pay more attention to every single step of the way."
Richard has frustrated many a lady. He's a cosmologist. He lives and breathes cosmology. He doesn't define himself by a relationship and, to be honest, doesn't REALLY need one. It would be nice, but he's got his own life to live and if a relationship pops up, so be it. But he also finds himself uncomfortable around women. He doesn't know it, but that's simply because he's never found the right woman.
He never thought: "If everyone is different and wants different things, then only about 1 out of two-hundred people met and spent time with will perfectly click with my life. I'm not SUPPOSED to get along with everyone, and with something as important as a relationship, beauty should be rare, not common."
Damon writes: "I'm a puzzle piece. I'm part of the bigger picture. There are a maximum of 4 pieces that fit perfectly with me - and that's out of 6.5 Billion, which is the population of Earth. I have to be careful not to try and smash puzzle pieces into me when I simply WANT them to work. I can't be so lonely that I'll grab anything and try to make a picture with it. To get a sense of the bigger picture, I need to be patient and honest and only pursue the natural "clicks". For a clearer, bigger picture, I need to search endlessly and find those that naturally "click" with me. It's about forming the bigger picture, and it's NOT about clicking. I don't want to produce an ugly picture by smashing myself into another piece that doesn't fit. I want myself and someone else to simply fall into place and have life make sense."
This is why Richard is interested in Dalia. She's her own person. She's got her own life and she's pursuing her interests. She's so interested in what she's doing that she's only got room for people who perfectly accomodate. She's on a rocket, firing at top speed down her path. If someone can keep up, cool. If not, she's busy.
Not needing a relationship is why women have tried so hard to be with Richard. He doesn't need it and that's not the focus of his life. So, women try incredibly hard to be with him. To "win" his attention. Richard, a realist, ends up seeing them as desperate and relates his experiences with women to this statement: "Relationships are too much trouble."
Damon writes: "Relationships are an addition to the life you are already living. They are not a brand new life."
Richard and Dalia share a workspace, share an interest in the universe and they share... how would you say it? ... they share..... "Being their own person".
What they like about themselves they like about each other.
C'est L'amour.
Richard has frustrated many a lady. He's a cosmologist. He lives and breathes cosmology. He doesn't define himself by a relationship and, to be honest, doesn't REALLY need one. It would be nice, but he's got his own life to live and if a relationship pops up, so be it. But he also finds himself uncomfortable around women. He doesn't know it, but that's simply because he's never found the right woman.
He never thought: "If everyone is different and wants different things, then only about 1 out of two-hundred people met and spent time with will perfectly click with my life. I'm not SUPPOSED to get along with everyone, and with something as important as a relationship, beauty should be rare, not common."
Damon writes: "I'm a puzzle piece. I'm part of the bigger picture. There are a maximum of 4 pieces that fit perfectly with me - and that's out of 6.5 Billion, which is the population of Earth. I have to be careful not to try and smash puzzle pieces into me when I simply WANT them to work. I can't be so lonely that I'll grab anything and try to make a picture with it. To get a sense of the bigger picture, I need to be patient and honest and only pursue the natural "clicks". For a clearer, bigger picture, I need to search endlessly and find those that naturally "click" with me. It's about forming the bigger picture, and it's NOT about clicking. I don't want to produce an ugly picture by smashing myself into another piece that doesn't fit. I want myself and someone else to simply fall into place and have life make sense."
This is why Richard is interested in Dalia. She's her own person. She's got her own life and she's pursuing her interests. She's so interested in what she's doing that she's only got room for people who perfectly accomodate. She's on a rocket, firing at top speed down her path. If someone can keep up, cool. If not, she's busy.
Not needing a relationship is why women have tried so hard to be with Richard. He doesn't need it and that's not the focus of his life. So, women try incredibly hard to be with him. To "win" his attention. Richard, a realist, ends up seeing them as desperate and relates his experiences with women to this statement: "Relationships are too much trouble."
Damon writes: "Relationships are an addition to the life you are already living. They are not a brand new life."
Richard and Dalia share a workspace, share an interest in the universe and they share... how would you say it? ... they share..... "Being their own person".
What they like about themselves they like about each other.
C'est L'amour.
Writing Practice 47: Hold on a second
There are THREE things that need practice, effort and attention when it comes to doing what I'm trying to do.
1) I have to spend time with my story and my characters.
2) I have to practice the craft of writing
3) I have to practice getting myself to write
Writing the brainstorm is a brilliant method, because it means I'm practicing the craft of writing while I spend time with my story and my characters.
I'm not having too much trouble with number three, which makes me think I should be giving it extra attention.
I would hate to see number 3 as a standard, not feed it and have that part of me die.
If number 3 is where I want it to be, I should ensure that it stays that way. I should be giving more attention to maintaining it.
See, if I think it's important and I feel it's happening, it's even more important to maintain it.
I should be coming up with new and creative ways to inspire myself to write.
Now that it's there, I need to NOT relax about it.
That's my biggest problem with relationships. People work to get what they want, then relax and see how long it lasts, or, they just forget about it and it dies naturally.
I cannot fall victim to this concept, especially since it involves writing.
As for 1 and 2, I'm not so sure I'm fully satisfied with saying that I'm practicing the craft of writing just because I'm writing the brainstorm of my idea.
That's good, and I'm glad that the end result of writing my brainstorm has me practicing writing.
But I'm practicing in just one way.
I'm always brainstorming in my own voice, and I'm not really pushing myself to practice the craft of writing.
I cannot let myself accept that it's "good enough" practice just to be writing out this brainstorm.
I should start alternating my entries.
I should be brainstorming with one entry, then practicing craft with another.
I will, however, accept that my brainstorm is writing practice if I kick up the craft of my brainstorm to another level.
I shouldn't just be writing to practice.
I should be practicing to get better.
So, I either have to better craft my brainstorms with what I consider to be more impressive writing (I.E. I should be practicing to improve the language and flow of each brainstorm) OR I should simply be taking little "warm up" breaks.
In fact, if an athlete warms up before a race, maybe I should warm up before each brainstorm.
Poetry, language, word-craft, whatever.
I should get myself inspired to write in creative ways, then, warm up, THEN do my writing.
This is tough.
That's how I know it's good for me.
1) I have to spend time with my story and my characters.
2) I have to practice the craft of writing
3) I have to practice getting myself to write
Writing the brainstorm is a brilliant method, because it means I'm practicing the craft of writing while I spend time with my story and my characters.
I'm not having too much trouble with number three, which makes me think I should be giving it extra attention.
I would hate to see number 3 as a standard, not feed it and have that part of me die.
If number 3 is where I want it to be, I should ensure that it stays that way. I should be giving more attention to maintaining it.
See, if I think it's important and I feel it's happening, it's even more important to maintain it.
I should be coming up with new and creative ways to inspire myself to write.
Now that it's there, I need to NOT relax about it.
That's my biggest problem with relationships. People work to get what they want, then relax and see how long it lasts, or, they just forget about it and it dies naturally.
I cannot fall victim to this concept, especially since it involves writing.
As for 1 and 2, I'm not so sure I'm fully satisfied with saying that I'm practicing the craft of writing just because I'm writing the brainstorm of my idea.
That's good, and I'm glad that the end result of writing my brainstorm has me practicing writing.
But I'm practicing in just one way.
I'm always brainstorming in my own voice, and I'm not really pushing myself to practice the craft of writing.
I cannot let myself accept that it's "good enough" practice just to be writing out this brainstorm.
I should start alternating my entries.
I should be brainstorming with one entry, then practicing craft with another.
I will, however, accept that my brainstorm is writing practice if I kick up the craft of my brainstorm to another level.
I shouldn't just be writing to practice.
I should be practicing to get better.
So, I either have to better craft my brainstorms with what I consider to be more impressive writing (I.E. I should be practicing to improve the language and flow of each brainstorm) OR I should simply be taking little "warm up" breaks.
In fact, if an athlete warms up before a race, maybe I should warm up before each brainstorm.
Poetry, language, word-craft, whatever.
I should get myself inspired to write in creative ways, then, warm up, THEN do my writing.
This is tough.
That's how I know it's good for me.
Writing Practice 46: My whole world
I'm writing enough now to be thinking about writing when I'm not writing.
I woke up this morning wanting to write. I was tired and groggy and was facing an overall mood that needed a kick start.
Here's how I'm used to starting my day.
1) A shower
2) Coffee
I've got two things that I"ve convinced myself will help me wake up in the morning and I've relied on those things for so long they're automatic kick starts. I wake up thinking: "If I want to get myself fully awake, I need a shower and I need some coffee.
This is nothing more than habit. Two things work for me and I've always done them. That's how I wake up - a shower and a coffee.
I can beat that.
What if I suffered through a week of waking up and working out?
There's two ways I'd rather wake up.
1) Exercise
2) Sunshine
Well, sunshine is conditional to nice days. So, let's restate.
1) Exercise
2) Nature
If I wake up and it's raining, why not step out into the rain?
Or, why not go on my front porch and smell the rain in deep inhales.
3) Breathing
I never think about breathing, which means I could be doing it wrong and not be noticing.
I breathe, but I'd never say I'm doing it properly.
Well, I'm alive so it must be working but am I breathing to maximum efficiency?
I'd say no. And I say that because whenever I concentrate on breathing and take a few proper, deep breaths I instantly feel better.
1) Exercise
2) Being outside
3) Breathing
If my new habit is wanting to write and I know I write better depending on my mood, I should be crafting new habits in order to constantly feel better so that I'll more frequently be in the mood to write, and, when I do, I'll be writing better.
To be a better writer, I have to be a more positive, more healthy, more energetic person.
Be a better person, be a better writer.
Constant reminder: To be good at anything, you've got to practice.
Spend time with the thing, repeat.
This goes for habits, interests and life.
It's going to suck to start working out.
I'm going to be bad at it at first, and it's going to be very difficult to sustain.
Accept that. Accept the training period. Accept that anything I don't do needs time to do better.
Accept the difficulty and understand that it's the process to ease.
This will only be hard for a while.
Then, it'll be a permanent, beneficial habit.
I woke up this morning wanting to write. I was tired and groggy and was facing an overall mood that needed a kick start.
Here's how I'm used to starting my day.
1) A shower
2) Coffee
I've got two things that I"ve convinced myself will help me wake up in the morning and I've relied on those things for so long they're automatic kick starts. I wake up thinking: "If I want to get myself fully awake, I need a shower and I need some coffee.
This is nothing more than habit. Two things work for me and I've always done them. That's how I wake up - a shower and a coffee.
I can beat that.
What if I suffered through a week of waking up and working out?
There's two ways I'd rather wake up.
1) Exercise
2) Sunshine
Well, sunshine is conditional to nice days. So, let's restate.
1) Exercise
2) Nature
If I wake up and it's raining, why not step out into the rain?
Or, why not go on my front porch and smell the rain in deep inhales.
3) Breathing
I never think about breathing, which means I could be doing it wrong and not be noticing.
I breathe, but I'd never say I'm doing it properly.
Well, I'm alive so it must be working but am I breathing to maximum efficiency?
I'd say no. And I say that because whenever I concentrate on breathing and take a few proper, deep breaths I instantly feel better.
1) Exercise
2) Being outside
3) Breathing
If my new habit is wanting to write and I know I write better depending on my mood, I should be crafting new habits in order to constantly feel better so that I'll more frequently be in the mood to write, and, when I do, I'll be writing better.
To be a better writer, I have to be a more positive, more healthy, more energetic person.
Be a better person, be a better writer.
Constant reminder: To be good at anything, you've got to practice.
Spend time with the thing, repeat.
This goes for habits, interests and life.
It's going to suck to start working out.
I'm going to be bad at it at first, and it's going to be very difficult to sustain.
Accept that. Accept the training period. Accept that anything I don't do needs time to do better.
Accept the difficulty and understand that it's the process to ease.
This will only be hard for a while.
Then, it'll be a permanent, beneficial habit.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Writing Practice 45: My instincts
My instincts tell me I should be writing.
What do I say? I have no idea.
Why do I feel like writing?
Because writing is good for me, that's why.
I'm not about to let something as simple as "not knowing what to write" stop me from writing.
I like to paint, too. I can't paint, but I like to do it. Should I let my lack of skill stop me from painting? No. I don't care if I simply cover my hands in paint and smear color onto canvass... i like doing it and so I should be doing it.
So, i feel I should be writing.
What do I write?
Well, this,I suppose.
These are words and I've just practiced writing.
What do I say? I have no idea.
Why do I feel like writing?
Because writing is good for me, that's why.
I'm not about to let something as simple as "not knowing what to write" stop me from writing.
I like to paint, too. I can't paint, but I like to do it. Should I let my lack of skill stop me from painting? No. I don't care if I simply cover my hands in paint and smear color onto canvass... i like doing it and so I should be doing it.
So, i feel I should be writing.
What do I write?
Well, this,I suppose.
These are words and I've just practiced writing.
Writing Practice 44: Some Philosophy
I was just thinking: "Am I decided that this Richard story is going to be a book? Maybe it'll work better as a short story." Then I thought: "I really have no idea how this story will manifest itself. Hell, I might turn it into a play."
Immediately after thinking that, I thought: "Who cares how this story manifests? That's not something you have to think about right now. What you need to focus on is spending time with the characters and the story and when the story is where it needs to be, you'll know what it needs to be."
Practice. Reminder of practice. You're working a story, here. You're trying to get the details right. You're brainstorming.
Flesh out a story and then start writing it. If ends up being a book, cool. A short story, cool. A whatever, cool.
Work the story and it'll manifest itself how it wants to when it's ready.
Write the brainstorm.
Spend some time with the story and the characters.
Practice writing.
That's all you have to focus on.
Keep doing that. Everything else will come.
It's PRACTICE.
So, PRACTICE.
This is what you're doing.
Stop worrying about anything else.
Immediately after thinking that, I thought: "Who cares how this story manifests? That's not something you have to think about right now. What you need to focus on is spending time with the characters and the story and when the story is where it needs to be, you'll know what it needs to be."
Practice. Reminder of practice. You're working a story, here. You're trying to get the details right. You're brainstorming.
Flesh out a story and then start writing it. If ends up being a book, cool. A short story, cool. A whatever, cool.
Work the story and it'll manifest itself how it wants to when it's ready.
Write the brainstorm.
Spend some time with the story and the characters.
Practice writing.
That's all you have to focus on.
Keep doing that. Everything else will come.
It's PRACTICE.
So, PRACTICE.
This is what you're doing.
Stop worrying about anything else.
Writing Practice 43: Richard likes who his ex-friend talks about liking
Richard's ex-friends journal (this is getting ridiculous, this ex friend needs a name) is mostly populated with commentary about social situations in which the ex-friend talks about liking someone. The ex-friend loved strangers, and most of his journal entries were about exactly that. Each entry pinpoints a particular person who the ex-friend liked for a particular reason.
Richards loves to read about the people who his ex-friend has liked. He loves reading the descriptions and imagining these people. He loved how his ex-friend thought, and loves the things his ex-friend respected about people. Each entry focuses on a respectable character trait from strangers the ex-friend has met. Half the journal had been written in bars, where the ex-friend had gone, drinking alone at first and eventually ended up talking to a stranger. It was the ex-friend's favorite hobby - meeting as many people as possible in order to find truly interesting people.
Richards loves to read about the people who his ex-friend has liked. He loves reading the descriptions and imagining these people. He loved how his ex-friend thought, and loves the things his ex-friend respected about people. Each entry focuses on a respectable character trait from strangers the ex-friend has met. Half the journal had been written in bars, where the ex-friend had gone, drinking alone at first and eventually ended up talking to a stranger. It was the ex-friend's favorite hobby - meeting as many people as possible in order to find truly interesting people.
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